taylor said what?

I wish I wrote more, or had the drive to write more, but it has been awhile since I have put much effort into writing. I think it all started when I started writing for pay vs pleasure. There are a million other reasons why I am sure, but sometimes I feel that I do not have a safe place to write a lot of the time, but for now this will have to do.


I am someone who grew up with dreams of going into the military. It has been my career goal for as long as I can remember, but things kept coming up preventing me from doing it when I wanted.

I hurt my shoulder, so I stopped working out and gained weight my senior year.
I went to college on a softball scholarship, but didn’t play so I kept gaining weight.
I was kicked out of college for being gay, so I had to find a job fast, and wasn’t at goal weight to join, so I got locked into the corporate world.
I am still waiting for DADT to be official, so it is a waiting game, while I reach/maintain weight.
I fell in love with a girl who hates the military, just my luck right. I mean I love this girl, I do and two years into this, I still want to spend a life with her, but I can’t let my dreams lose out for her. 
I gave her an ultimatum. She has 30 days from when I meet my goal weight to decide if she wants to make this work, aka move out to the area I am stationed at with me or not, and if she doesn’t want to then, our relationship has a due date. There is a lot more to it then that, but thats too personal and this is not a place for me to put her on blast here.
I don;t want it to have a due date, but I can’t waste along our lives any longer when this is the life I have always wanted. 
Long story short, the thought of all this breaks my heart.